Aug. 7th, 2017 10:06 pm
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I've been really tired today, and I haven't really done anything all day. I started out by organizing and messing around with my Spotify playlists. There are a lot of good albums that I never listen to, so I have started dumping the albums that I remember liking into playlists separated by decades. Depending on how many albums I can recall, these playlists could end up being massive. This is still better than my old organizational system, which is basically nonexistent. I will probably try to make some genre playlists, but that will have to wait. I'm not sure if I should put Broadway cast recordings in the individual decade playlists or put them into one giant, all-consuming Broadway playlist. I'm leaning toward the latter because of the amount of tracks on albums and the fact that revivals can feature music from decades earlier than when they were recorded.

Organizing music on Spotify is a big thing for me because I own very little music myself. When I was growing up, I bought almost no music aside from anime CDs. I listened to Japanese music almost exclusively until I was about 15, except for when I was listening to the radio in the car. By the time that I started listening to English music more often, I had already discovered the joys of music piracy and downloading. I built up and lost my mp3 collection several times over because I never backed anything up. Eventually, I stopped downloading mp3s and switched to streaming via... in 2006, I think? Now that I think of it, I think I started listening to Yahoo's Launchcast personalized radio first... does anyone remember that? I always thought I would re-download my old collection from iTunes, but based on the volume of music that I had listened to over the years as well as my changing tastes, I never did. So, basically, I'm trying to get together all the new and old music that I've ever loved and can still enjoy in one place.

Anyway, I got really tired after that. I blame it on waking up several times during the night and having a dream about turning into an evil witch with my best friend from elementary school. I don't know where exactly that came from, but it felt pretty vivid at the time. I have taken to listening to audio books and podcasts while I'm trying to fall asleep, and I frequently fall asleep with them still playing. I was listening to the Welcome to Night Vale novel last night, so maybe that is to blame.

The only other thing that I can blame for being exhausted today is that I have been active more often than usual in the past two weeks. It all started with Portland. The week before last, I was in Portland for a few days. That involved a lot of walking and getting lost on public transportation. I walked 4+ miles each day, and I was able to eat at a cool British pub called The Raven and the Rose, so I was pretty happy.

On Thursday of last week, I went to Catalina for my grandma's birthday because they offer free boat trips to the island for people celebrating their birthdays as well as one guest. It felt like I spent most of my time riding around on the back of a golf cart and listening to music, but I did end up walking 3.3 miles. I also bought a unicorn necklace because I am clearly an eleven year old girl on the inside. XD; Altogether, it was a good day, and I spent the ride home out on deck to experience the wind and sea spray while staring at the sea and darkening sky. It has been so long since I've been out to sea like that, so I regret nothing.

On Friday, I stayed home for most of the day, but I went to Fullerton in the evening to get coffee at the Night Owl. Then, I found out that my aunt was making tacos, so we went over there for dinner.

On Saturday, I went back to Fullerton to try a pizza place called Fuoco. It was good but way more authentic than I am used to. Then, I went to the Tranquil Tea Lounge where I ordered a white tea and mochi ice cream. It was the first time I had mochi ice cream before, and I loved it. Overall, I walked 1.5 miles that day.

On Sunday, I went to Torrance with my family to visit an old neighbor of theirs. I used it as an excuse to stop by Mitsuwa for the first time. I did not realize that that place was so big! I wish I had more time to spend there, but I did get some snacks as well as a discounted tea set. I want to visit the one in Costa Mesa since it is about the same distance as the one in Torrance. Overall, I walked 1.3 miles that day.

So, it's probably not the walking that has made me tired because I've actually felt better on days that I've walked more. I'm guessing that it is the social interaction and maybe just being out. I think that this is the same thing that makes me feel so exhausted during the semester because I can be out for only a few hours and feel drained. That is why it is so hard to balance my classes with anything else. I don't interact with people a lot, but just being there can make me feel self-conscious and nervous... it is not fun. It is worst at the beginning of the semester, especially if I don't know the professor. Usually, it gets better after a month or so, but I still carry a lot of stress and tension with me which can be very draining.

Last but not least, I did not start my new writing goals because I have felt tired and distracted. I decided that I should get started on a day when I actually feel good, but maybe that's just an excuse. It's so hard to start things and find motivation.
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I have gone to bed after 1 am consistently for the last few days, which does not bode well for when I will have to be awake and functioning before 10 AM next month. -_-; I'm still wondering how July is almost over and where the time has gone. Time has always been my enemy, but maybe we will be able to reconcile someday.

Last weekend, I house-sat for my aunt and uncle, which meant AC for a few days! *cheers* Naturally, it started to cool down outside just when I finally got access to the air conditioning. I'm home now, but I was able to enjoy it for a few days at least. It's so much easier to accomplish things when you're not hot and tired all the time.

So, after my previous post, I actually did go to the fair on Saturday and had a lovely time.Read more... )

I also signed up for the [community profile] hp_creatures fest, so hopefully I can get started on that. I will be in Oregon Thursday through Saturday for unpleasant personal reasons, but I'd like to get started before then. I have until October, but it is better that I use my time wisely, especially before school starts and consumes me. I need all the help that I can get when it comes to actually sitting down and writing anything that's over ~500 words. At least it's a pairing that I feel relatively comfortable with.

I'm supposed to go to a HP trivia night tonight at 7:30; my life is so interesting now. XD;
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CW: Suicide:

Linkin Park's Chester Bennington commits suicide at age 41

Regardless of what you thought of their music, this is tragic. Another life lost to suicide... I don't know everyone else's experiences with the band, but I can't imagine my adolescence without them. There was a time in the 2000s when Linkin Park and Evanescence songs reigned supreme in AMVs, which is how I discovered both of them. As cliche as it may sound, their music *spoke to me* at a very emotional part of my life. They were the soundtrack for many nostalgic Yu Yu Hakusho AMVs (especially those made by Maze Castle back in the day) as well as many angsty nights. While my musical taste has shifted away from them in recent years, they were a formative band for me. I've spent the afternoon listening and singing along to Linkin Park songs old and new in his memory.

Maybe nobody cares about this band in fandom anymore, but I just did not expect to wake up to this news today, especially since I can relate to his mental health struggles. Somehow, I made it through all those trying years, and I hope you all do, too.
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I haven't done much since my last post, and it's April already! T. S. Elliot was right: April is the cruelest month so far.

It finally occurred to me that it might improve my mood if I listen to music, so I'm currently listening to a station created from my "Nostalgia" playlist on Spotify. I don't think that I would point to it as the pinnacle of my musical taste, but it is the musical equivalent of burrowing under cozy blankets on a cold day. It has been far from cold weather-wise, but this is one of those times when I need the warmth and comfort. We had to put my dog to sleep yesterday. That means the end of my original group of pets, which I prized and loved so much as a child. I knew it was coming, but I hate change.

I originally turned to the laptop to continue reading book nine of the Dresden Files, but I felt compelled to write here instead. I really want to finish that series this year because I want to read discussion of the series and I'm tired of having to avoid spoilers. I don't know how I bore it when I was playing catch-up with the Harry Potter series, but I didn't stay spoiler-free for that, either. The bits that have been spoiled already are so enticing....
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Listen here )

Why I Like It: I never got into Bleach, and hundreds of episodes later, I'm not so sure that was a bad thing. Nevertheless, I did manage to fall in love with its ending theme. Here, we find another example of the lovely piano which I cannot resist. I can relate to the lyrics, and they reflect teenage me a lot. This is a song i would add to the "soundtrack of my life," and it does a good job of describing my feelings toward love. It simple and subdued, but that's what makes it beautiful. I also like how it has lyrics both in Japanese and English.
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Recently, I've been looking for ways to enhance my journaling/personal blogging experience. I want to try to write every day or at least every week. At any rate, one of the suggestions that I came across was keeping track of favorite songs. Since I am in need of some more self-expression, I thought today would be a good day to start. Anyway, here's my first music rec.

Listen here )

Why I Like It: Despite growing up in the 90s, I never heard this song until a couple of years ago. I like the original version by The Proclaimers for the silly piece of fluff that it is, but this cover just stops me in my tracks. The piano is beautiful, and this cover makes the song so beautiful, heartfelt, and romantic! It gives the lyrics a whole new feeling. The way I want to describe it is "achingly heartfelt." I found this on radio.
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I need to get my mind in order. I have much less than one week before school starts and steals my soul away Panic, panic, panic...

First off, other matters!

New Night Vale today? If so, yay. I haven't been listening to the show for long (I started sometime in July), so i'm not so familiar with the update schedule. If memory serves, the new episodes are posted on the 1st and 15th of each month... beware the ides of March, anyone? *checks* Yes, there is a new episode! I will listen to it later.

In other news, I failed my singing audition yesterday. :( I guess you really can't fail an audition, but that's how I feel about it. *sighs* It's probably just fine. I have enough on my plate right now. Plus, I may have anxiety issues that are interfering with my progress. Anyway, the experience kind of threw me into a dark world of questions... I need to figure out what I can do with my voice.

On Monday (I'm jumping around in time~), I listened to the last PotterCast ever. It was originally posted on July 31st (meaningful dates!), but I didn't discover it until later. Admittedly, I haven't listened to PotterCast much at all for the last few years. Even before they slowed down with the updates after the books and films were finished, I kind of drifted away from it. It's not that i stopped liking the show, but you nkow... it wasn't really a good time in my life for awhile. >_> I listened to it a lot right after HBP came out and for some of the time when we were waiting for DH. I heard the interview with JKR, but I never found out what happened to Sue the Hufflepuf. For nostalgia's sake, I may go back and listen to the old episodes. I really hope they start a new show. Maybe not about Harry Potter, but I would like one about general geeky/nerdy things. They also mentioned coming back together if any big Harry Potter stuff happens.... Until then, I am following Melissa Anelli and John Noe on Twitter. ^^;

In other nerdy news, I started reading City of Bones by Cassandra Clare. I like it so far, and I want to finish before the movie comes out. Right now, I dont' see how it's supposed to be super clich♪d. I mean, it has similarities with some elements of other stories, but I don't tink it's a Harry Potter rip-off. I don't really see Clary as a Hermione character, and although Jace is a Draco in Leather Pants character, I don't see himself as very similar to the canon Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter. I like Jace, but Draco was always kind of pathetic in my eyes... except maybe in HBP. I also don't think Jace is TOO much of a jerk. He's snarky for sure, but I kind of see his interactions with Clary as more playful teasing than anything. Plus, he has issues with the vulnerability that love entails. It's probably a defensive mechanism. To me, the story of his falcon was ptertty sad... I guess Jace's dad reminds me of fanon!Lucius and his relationship with Draco. I will also admit that Valentine is the clear Voldemort character, but I don't think he's a clone, either. More on this as I read more...
Um... what else? I listened to Lady Gaga's new song
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Warning: There's bound to be some angsty songs here.

Let the music play! )
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It seems that I was completely right when I said before that my life was in a precarious place. During the last week, my life has changed in a monumental way. I can never go back to the same perspective that I had even as recently as last weekend! It is clear that the choices I have the power to make now are of the utmost importance, but I'm not ready to talk about them in anything other than vague statements for now.

I've been downloading some music from iTunes today! :D Well, I actually downloaded Natasha Bedingfield's new album yesterday (or possibly very early this morning, but it was before I when to bed anyway), but I downloaded Sarah Brightman's "La Luna" album today. I've finally decided to purchase music from iTunes wholeheartly now. I'm still pretty attached to CDs, but it *is* cheaper and easier to buy from iTunes. I end up ripping all my CDs anyway. Right now, it's simpler to organize music on my computer than to try to manage a physical collection. I have neither the money or space to gather the collection of CDs that I wish I had already.

Anyway, I bring this up because the music I have downloaded has proved to be comforting to me. Natasha Bedingfield's music is as much a "pocketful of sunshine" as it ever was, but I'm not sure that it can live up to her debut. On the other hand, I always knew that "La Luna" was my favorite of Sarah Brightman's work. One song in particular has caught my interest. I think it does a good job of summarizing my feelings at the moment and the feelings that I've had even before. I'll let the lyrics speak for themselves now.

Winter in July )

Yes, I think that sums up my state of mind and point in life! I will correct any mistakes in the lyrics at another time. I don't know if anyone really reads or uses LJ much anymore, but I thought it was a good place to post. I will rtry to pay more attention to the activity that IS going on LJ. Facebook just isn't "it" for me. Besides, this journal seems to be the better place to post "the real stuff" for now even though I can be hopelessly and I can't tell if anyone is still around to care around the meanings behind my words. Still, I like to write here.


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